my journey

Another year has FLOWN by...

2012-01-23T15:55:00.001-08:00

Little Olivia is a year old.
It's crazy how time just flies by...

Family Pictures + baby Bentley is 6 months!

2012-01-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Day! What better way to remember it then pictures??

Oh and Bentley is 6 months old and getting Chunky! But a cute chunk!

Cheeks like this were MADE for squeezing!

All in the Family

2012-01-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

Family Pictures for Christmas! They make my job so easy and so fun!

We did a double whammy this day, family pictures and Christmas tree hunting!

The cover poster for "Adorable Family"

Halloween!

2011-11-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

It's a lot of work being a cow, you have to feed

the horses.

This little guy sure does make a cute cow!

Who says a Cow can't be friends with a Monkey?

Just another day on the ranch.

Bentley and Grandpa

2011-10-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

There is something special about a Grandpa and his Granddaughter. I know I am a Grandpa's girl, and I'm sure Bentley will be too. I love the contrast of the big strong hands and the new baby.

She has arrived and she is cute!

2011-09-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

Little Bentley

She is going to be so sick of me taking her pictures by the time she is 5!!!

But I'm excited and really thats all that matters right??

A year old

2011-08-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

It is official, little Kale is a year old.

I can't believe how the year has flown by!

One thing I do know for sure, this is possibly the cutest little boy ever!

And holy moly, hello Mr. Blue Eyes!

It was a fun day, and I got a lot of great pictures, these are just a few of my favorites.

Senior Pictures, Pregnancy Pictures... man I've been busy

2011-06-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

Senior pictures. They are fun.

This is my sister. She is kind of annoying, however she makes a pretty cute pregnant lady.
She is due this August

I'm a sucker for sunsets

2011-03-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

I'm still a big fan of sunsets. Obviously.
I think they are beautiful!

Just some things I've been working on...

2011-03-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

Little Kid Baseball... always a summer favorite!

Willy and Jessie

They so graciously agreed to stand in front of my camera!

Thank you!

This adorable little one belongs to Willy and Jessie.

She is so precious

Mariah Senior Picture

Baby Kale, 9 months old.

He has the biggest blue eyes. ever.

-23

2011-01-31T07:28:00.000-08:00

That is the temperature here today.
That is NOT adding wind chill.
Oh I can not wait for the day when I own a beach house...

just another day

2011-01-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

Did you know working with kids, on average you will have tears everyday.
Did you also know that on average you will also have to handle outbursts of random temper tantrums.
Did you know this will make you grow premature gray hair?
Thank you God for Fridays!

ok I give...

2011-01-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

How in the world do you post pictures to your blog from your phone??
I am stumped.
Thanks in advance.

Rodeo Weekend... not all it was cracked up to be

2011-01-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

Once a year the rodeo comes to town, not just any rodeo but the Circut Finals. This event gives the people in the surrounding area a great excuse to give the cabin fever a rest.
Last year I went every night and after the rodeo I danced the night away.
This year I only made it one day.
I stayed out late with no dancing but lots of talking and drinking.
I ran into some old friends and caught up.
Eventually ending the night at the home town bar.
The next day I had the WORST headache ever.
Sunday was a day of rest and extreme laziness for me.
I only left the couch to eat and go to the bathroom.
Just another sign that I'm getting older and can't get down like I used too...
Its kinda depressing if you think about it.
So I don't think about it.

I finally did it!

2011-01-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

i finally figured out how to post on my blog from my phone. i know my technology and high tech ness shocks you. now all i have to master is how to post a picture... please hold for a couple months.

Oh yeah, did I tell you I went branding. Again

2010-08-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

Yeah this happened sometime in July? Better late then never right?

It was kinda cold and the calves were huge, but I did get some good pictures.

Isn't that little girl adorable?

And now I think I'm caught up!

This has been my summer. Work, branding, camping, work.

But I have enjoyed it.

No that is not a tan, it's just dirt

2010-08-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

This last week our crew was called out to fire.

On fire you typically are moping up the whole time. Which is fine with me, but it's a dirty job.
You literally get black ash everywhere; your face, neck, arms and legs.

Needless to say when you get back from fire, your first want/ need is a shower.

This is what I looked like when we got back to the truck on Sunday.

And yes, I left a ring around the shower. ha ha ha

This job is not for those who don't like to get dirty.

My current favorite picture

2010-08-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

This is my job....

2010-07-26T17:22:00.000-07:00

You jealous??

Camping

2010-07-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

As you can tell it was muddy, we got rained on.

But much fishing was done and laying in the sun.

That is all I require to make camping fun for me.

As it happens, I'm still alive.

2010-07-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

I love my job.
However it takes up a lot of time... obviously!
My normal day consists of hauling my chain saw around all day and cut down trees.
This to me is fun, I love being outside.

When we get the lucky chance to be dispatched out on fire we do that.
Fire is the ultimate high. It's a dirty job but SO much fun!
I really love my job.

Other then that I've been camping and just hanging out.
I will be posting some pictures to keep you entertained for the next 3 months.

and I'm totally not kidding.

And now I shall sing to you...

2010-06-09T22:24:00.000-07:00

Feels like HOME to me...
Feels like HOME to MEEEE.

Ok I'm done.
This weekend I'm coming home.
I'm going hiking with a friend, getting my hair trimmed, visiting family, my pets, and cutting down some trees.
Of course only dead trees.

It shall be fun, long and busy.
What else is new.

oy

Holy Crap

2010-05-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

Do they pull guys aside one day in school and teach them how to be raging douche bags?

They need to stop doing that... the world is over populated as it is.

Do over??

2010-05-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Can I get a do over?
I would like a do over for spring?

I understand rain is a must for spring, however snow.... not so much.

I'm sick and tired of snow.
Send it back, we don't need it anymore.

Thanks in advance.

April showers bring May....

2010-05-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

High School Rodeo

2010-05-19T20:30:00.001-07:00

Team Roping

Dirty steers, they get you every time.

Calf Tying

going

gone.

Steer Wrestling
late start, no finish.

Branding

2010-05-19T20:12:00.001-07:00

I'm Alive! I just got a job!!!

2010-05-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah you read that right. I got a job.
Doing what?
I am an official Fire Fighter for the Forest Service.
I'm just wrapping up my 2nd week and I love it.
Today we got to go out to a unit to burn.
I am actually getting to use my degree some! It's so exciting!!
So make up for my absence, I will post some pictures.

Yay for loving your job.
Yay for having a job!

The road leading home...

2010-04-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

It's not a bad road. The scenery isn't bad either.
I love the way the area and views change when you leave one county and enter another.

My favorite part of Spring?

2010-04-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

Need I say more? (or type more would be more accurate...)

Never to old to play...

2010-04-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if T is laughing or wincing in pain.... or farting.

Your laughing cause you think I'm joking? I'm totally not, it happens.

Line was so open for us this whole game. And look the American Flag!!

OK, so this picture is kind of like "Where's Waldo" I'm not sure what is going on.

Jeans working the net!

Again Jeans workin it on the net. I am arguing my case I jumped to early!

ha ha ha! Apparently I just need to work on my vertical.

Here I'm demonstrating the proper way to watch your set and not cover....

My VB girls, do as I say, not as I do anymore :)

Nice, T is getting up!! Look, look I'm almost to my elbow's like the good ol days.

I'm pretty sure this ball went down for a kill. Where is the block??

Ya I'm not sure about this one. No ball, no person on the other side...

I must of been practicing on that vertical again.

Playing last weekend was a blast, the next day we were all a little sore, it was worth it though.

We have all decided to make this a yearly tradition! So once a year we will get together drive to WY and play volleyball.

ps. I miss volleyball, and I really miss all the girls I played with.

ps x2. Thanks P for being our fan and our photographer!

On another topic, weren't our jersey's cool?

Easter Weekend

2010-04-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

These Easter dresses are too cute, I love the colors!

For once in Montana, we had nice weather for Easter weekend and we took full advantage.

Thursday's and Toddler's

2010-04-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

On to something exciting!

2010-04-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

So, I am on to some exciting things!
I don't want to talk about it, cause I don't want to jinx it.

I just want to let you know that it is exciting and I'm excited!

It wouldn't hurt for you to keep me in your thoughts and hope good things come my way!

2010-04-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

Isn't Belt pretty?

A colt named Smokey

2010-04-04T12:15:00.000-07:00

I just love these pictures.

Happy Easter!

xoxo

The fluffy stuff

2010-03-31T21:55:00.000-07:00

These clouds remind me of Cool Whip.

Doesn't the thought of Cool Whip make you want some??

These clouds and cool whip are on my list of good things.

ps. The flats are really really starting to grow on me. Seriously.

I just don't look like that....

2010-03-24T18:38:00.000-07:00

Remember this picture I posted? I was talking about learning to love running.
Well I still like to run. But check out this girl...She still looks normal.
She doesn't look red in the face, or like she is sweating her face off.
I just don't look like this when I work out.

Please see exhibit A through C Exhibit A: I am rather sweaty, and my hair is a glorious mess.
Exhibit B: This is right after I ran 2 miles for the first time.

Note the red face, and sweat running off my face.
Exhibit C: This however makes it all worth it. I love my guns.
I guess you could say I'm proud of them.

I'm one stylin trucker

2010-03-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am one stylin trucker. Well technically I don't "truck" myself I just go along for the ride. But I sure look good doing it! I owe it all to my super cool shades.

Just in case you didn't believe me the first time, I thought I'd show you again.

spurs

2010-03-23T07:02:00.000-07:00

I like this picture. There is just something about it.

When the lighting is good, I grab my camera!

2010-03-11T08:40:00.000-08:00

This is one Sunday afternoon in the kitchen. The light pouring in from the windows was amazing. And just my luck, there happened to be 2 adorable little girls for me to take pictures of, Madison and Kenz. Aren't they dolls?

I'm learning

2010-03-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

I'm learning how to love Running. There is nothing better then the way you feel after a hard run.

It may sound funny, but sweating is refreshing. For my family and friends this is a shock. I have never liked running. But I'm giving it a chance, and it's grown on me.

I love running.

More Cute Babies

2010-03-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

Little Morgan, isn't she a doll? We got to babysit one day, so I decided to capture her cuteness!

Look What I Posted!

2010-03-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

Cacellia and her cousin Natalie. Cacellia is around 2 1/2 weeks old in these pictures.

I did it

2010-03-02T18:28:00.000-08:00

I finally ran two miles today!!!
It felt good to run it... but now my hip feels like it's going to fall off!

Ah the joys of getting older

Well maybe tomorrow...

2010-02-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

I had some pictures I was going to post.
BUT blogger had a different plan... it wouldn't let me post them.

So I'll talk about myself instead.

I went and worked out again today.
I only ran 1.2 miles but I ran it at a faster speed.

Tomorrow I'm hoping I get a job.

And that's all I got. I'm a boring jobless loser.

Goodbye forever.

It's Friday

2010-02-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

Usually today is the one day of the week that bring workers joy.
Today it has a slightly different meaning.

Today is my last day at work. My last day at this job here.

Do I have another job I'm moving too.... um sadly no.

Do I have all my bills paid for this month... fortunately yes.
(although next month.... I don't know what I will do)

I'm hoping this month I can find a job! I'm worried yes of course, but I'm also hopeful.
And I can't lie, most of this hope I feel has to do with the weather. It's nice outside, so naturally it puts a pretty spin on things. And not to mention makes me in a much better mood all around.
(there are a few people who will probably rejoice in that fact...)

The work place is a little tough right now, but there are jobs out there.

To be honest my biggest concern is finding a job that WILL be flexible with my coaching hours.

So here is to the weekend!
One filled with fun, one filled with friends, and one filled with frugality's!

Keep your fingers crossed that this homegirl can find herself a JOB!

Have a good weekend. Also check back later.
I will post more pictures this evening.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-23T19:15:00.001-08:00

Cacellia Lorraine

2/10/10

2010-02-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

Apparently I need to start breathing life back into my blog...

I have been doing some fun stuff, I just haven't been writing about it.
I have tons of pictures to upload and post.

I was able to take pictures of a new born baby.
Then last week I took some more pictures.
I will post them I promise, they are too cute.

Seeing cute babies like that make me want to have a baby.
Then I realize...
I don't have house.
I don't have a guy participant.
I don't have a job at the end of this month.

Yep... I'm like totally equipped for a baby.
JUST KIDDING!

Anyways I digress... this post was a promise to update with pictures this week.
And here I am talking about babies and my lack of a life.

great... well have a good day.
good bye forever.

I'm Baacckkk!

2010-02-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

Did anyone miss me??

.....

um hello? anyone still there?

anyone? Buller?

Well on the off chance that some people have the misfortune to stumble across my blog from time to time... how bout an update.

I won the lottery, bought a house, met the man of my dreams and have a job I love.

And then I woke up. Best dream I ever had!

Seriously... What have I been up too?
WELL since you are so curious, I will fill you all in.

Valentines Day came and went... I didn't do much. I went to dinner. The food was so good!
What did I have? Budlight Clam, I mean really it's the classy thing to do no?

I have officially applied to 20 jobs. I have officially received 0 call backs.
I am officially starting to get worried I will have to move back home.

I ran 1.16 miles yesterday. I plan on running 2 miles today.
I'm slightly worried about myself... what is wrong with me?? Where did the girl who hates to run go?

I have a friend who had a baby. Cacellia... she is such a precious baby girl.
I with the permission of Mama, am allowed to take pictures!
I can't wait.

I love my camera.
I love chocolate.
I hate Valentines Day.
I'm getting annoyed with Job hunting.
I want to buy my own house.
I want to buy my own house with some property so I can have all my animals with me.

And that is about all I've got.
So you see, you really haven't missed much.
I'm still alive, still random as ever and still love my camera.

Here is to Hump Day. Only 2 more days until the weekend!

Sunset's in Power

2010-02-10T20:40:00.000-08:00

Are so pretty. The company was good too... but that is neither here nor there.

I will never get tired of taking pictures of the sun setting. The colors are so pretty!

Valentines Day means....

2010-02-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Roses and Flowers

blisters, layed off and everything in between

2010-02-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, for reasons unknown to myself. I decided to run 1.2 miles on the treadmill.

This is the first cardio I've done since last summer.

Lifting weights doesn't count as cardio.... I know because I asked.

After I ran, I felt good, I felt like "hey, maybe I will like running."

Then I took my shoes off, and found those blisters. I have matching ones on both feet.

They are huge and filled with crap.

Today I'm going to drain them.

Today I probably won't be running another mile....

If I do, someone please have me checked out. I must be sick.

On a random note.... I was told I have 2 weeks before I'm layed off until Spring or Summer, when work picks back up. Or if I would like, to find another job.

Ha ha ha, the funny crap just keeps coming.

Find another job in 2 weeks..... yeah right.

I've been looking for months and haven't found anything!

Well wish me luck... with all of the above.

Last night

2010-02-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

I went out.
I am getting the cabin fever.... it's getting worse everyday.

So in order to keep my sanity, I ran some errands in town.
Then I met up with a friend.
We ate and then decided to go to a movie.

Maybe you've heard of it no??
For my review it was good. We laughed, we cringed, we laughed some more.
We ate entirely way to much popcorn, followed by a huge sprite!
Robert Downey Jr. does a great job, he really was a kick in the pants!

For a Tuesday night.... not bad at all.

Saturday in Pictures

2010-01-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

Snow falls and then it melts

2010-01-31T10:43:00.000-08:00

You ever have one of those weeks

2010-01-28T14:59:00.000-08:00

Where you are annoyed.... with everything.

Where you are bored........ with everything.

Both of those things combined.... I'm not left in a very good mood.
Maybe lack of sleep is a big contributing factor??

It has been a long long week. I'm so happy tomorrow is Friday.
Saturday I have planned a "photo op" of sorts.
Hopefully the weather works.

Again.... maybe I'll post pictures again.
When I don't find uploading them to my computer boring.

Weekend Recap

2010-01-24T20:55:00.000-08:00

It has been snowing all weekend.
It's still snowing right now as I type this.
We are up to 3 feet and deeper in the drifts.

Saturday I had a snow day with a friend.
We played cards and drank and big bottle of wine.
Then we drank a bottle of champagne.... our heads hurt a little the next morning.

Sunday everyone was shoveling snow.
I have a feeling our shovels are going to get a lot of use in the next couple days.

Here is to another week, and here is to our snow shovels.

I will post new snow pictures soon!

My Proof

2010-01-22T13:55:00.000-08:00

Friday

2010-01-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

And it's Snowing.

Me.

2010-01-18T21:04:00.001-08:00

This weekend was the rodeo. I had a blast. I danced my nights away.

I didn't know what to wear.... I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl, but I still wasn't sure what to wear.

I normally don't do my hair, I normally don't do my makeup.

But this weekend, I decided was the exception. It was time to let my hair down, or in my case fix it up.

I'm posting these pictures to document the occasion.

Not the rodeo.... but, me with my hair and makeup done.

Proof that I am capable of cleaning up.

ps. I'm not sure why I look like I'm going to hurt someone in these pictures. I was in a good mood I swear!

Friday is for faces

2010-01-14T19:41:00.001-08:00

I found someone to stick in front of my camera!

These are all straight out of the camera, her eyes really are that blue!

Happy Friday and Have a fun weekend.

I know I will, I'm going to the Rodeo!!

and now a word from our sponsor...

2010-01-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, my blog looks like an art gallery.
Picture overload much??
Apparently I need to learn things in moderation.
Moderation is good.

I just wanted to write an update....

I am okay.

Really. Truly and Honestly. I am okay.

I don't have to keep saying it over an over again, just so I believe it.

Sure there are days I remember something and I get a little sad thinking about it.
But it doesn't consume me anymore, I can think back and remember things and when the memory has played out. I can go back to my day.

I feel like I am in a good spot.
A spot where I can talk about what happened and not burst into tears if the wrong thing is said.
I'm in a place where I can separate the good and the bad.
Better yet? I'm in a place where I can admit yes it was sad that things happened the way they did. But we just weren't happy, it wasn't going to work out.

I'm ready for my new start.
I'm content at the moment, making me happy first.
And that is Okay.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today in pictures

2010-01-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when boys get bored. They get really weird.

I am obsessed.

2010-01-11T20:04:00.000-08:00

with MY CAMERA!!

Not what I expected.... but I'll take it!

2010-01-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster.
The day before that was also an emotional roller coaster.

For one reason and one reason alone. Ryan.
do you see a pattern here?

Anyways....
Wednesday night he called me about a Verizon bill.
Did we talk? No
Did we fight? Yes
Is that normal? For us yes, which is why we do not belong together.
During said fight, he let slip he had a new girlfriend.
My response: "Whoa, that was fast?"
His: "Yeah, it was fast."
Me: "So are you two in LOOOOVE?"
Him: "Yeah, we are"
Me: "That is disgusting."
Him: "whatever."
Me: "So did you EVER really love me at all? I mean how can you replace someone that fast?"
Him: He said something, but I don't remember what. And this is my story!
Me: "Wow, way to rebound, that is awesome."
Him: Insert more yelling, and bad words. Oh don't forget the name calling.
Me: Two can play at that game. insert more bad words, yelling and yes even name calling
Then he hung up.

1 minute later the phone rings.
Me: "WHAT?"
Him: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I don't want to fight, I don't care anymore. If you could please take care of the bill, I would appreciate it."
Me: "Why didn't you just ask like that in the first place. OK I will do what I can."
Him: "Thank you. This is why we aren't together. You pooped on me for 8 months, I couldn't take it anymore."
Me: "Really? No Really? I pooped on you? Well it goes both ways."
Him; "I'm not perfect."
Me: "Nope, no one is."
Me: "Are you happy? Really happy?"
Him: "Yeah I am."
Me: "Good. I want that for you. I really do. I also wish we could be civil and friendly."
Him: "I can never be your friend. Maybe in 10 years, but I just can't stand you."
Me: "Oh, that's too bad. Good luck with things."
Him: "yeah, have a nice life."

Needless to say I was 21 different shades of upset by this. And by upset I mean pissed.
He was supposed to make one call for me and he couldn't. But he could call me to yell? UM No that's not cool. Also it really bothered me that he could move on so quickly and be all "in loooove". It hasn't even been a month since things were finalized.
Finally I fell asleep, after I thought and thought and brooded and cried. I fell asleep.

Yesterday I was doing somewhat better.
That is until I found out whom this bright new girlfriend is....
I won't say names.
However this girl is a senior in high school.
Say it with me.... Ahhh WHAT??
yeah you heard me. A senior.

After I found this out I was seething. I was burning with anger.
He always told me I was so immature, not mature enough for kids, blah blah blah.
And he does this??
Well long story short....
I was mad, really really mad.
But the anger ran it's course. And I'm not mad anymore.
I really don't care anymore.
I can laugh about it now.
Later that night, I was told he called a mutual friend to tell them "She might call you and tell you I was mean to her, but I wasn't."
I laughed..... Really? And I'm too immature?

Right now at this moment I'm glad.
I'm glad it happened, and I'm glad I was told.
It gave me that extra push.
It forced me to get so mad and to let my anger run out.
It pushed me to let go.

Does this mean I'm immune to him? Probably not.
Will I have some lapses and maybe get sad.... sure that is normal.

Yesterday though I did something I haven't been able to do.
I deleted pictures, and text messages. I threw out some of his stuff I just couldn't before.
And I also joined face book. Before I didn't because I didn't want to "run into" him, but that thought doesn't really bother me.

He was a part of my past, and he always will be. He is no longer a part of my future.
I'm going to stop trying to walk forward while looking behind me. I'm looking forward from now on.

For once I feel at peace.
I must say it is an awesome feeling.

Last January

2010-01-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

I made a list of things I wanted to purchase before the year was finished.

That time seems like it was really 5 years ago.

Anyways, I forgot to mention.

I bought one of the things on my list!

I love it!

I love it more then my favorite shoes, more then chocolate, more then men!

I want to marry it!

Did you guess yet?

No? Okay I'll just show you.

I got the Nikon SLR D3000

With it I got 2 new shinny lenses

Of course this means I will have more pictures to post.

Yay for new cameras!

Yay for checking something off my list!

ETA: This still counts if it was a Christmas present no? Well it's my blog and my party. I make the rules here!

My Sister's Wedding, in pictures

2010-01-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

Here is to 2009

2010-01-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back home, I'm back to work.
Being home was good and I suppose bad in some ways.

The good part was I got the much needed break from here.
I love it here, but not necessarily my situation here.
The other good part was I got to see my family and friends.

The bad part was everything was consumed by wedding planning and wedding thoughts.
I did good, better then I thought I would to be honest.
After the rehearsal dinner I had had enough and went out. I got so drunk, and then so so sick.
Was it worth it? Yes, I needed some kind of a release.
The annoying part was then dealing with family and wedding when I was hung over.
Sorry but you don't understand some things, and I wanted an escape.
My escape just happened to be in liquid form. If you don't like it, I don't care.

The wedding was nice, it really was.
I am glad I was able to be a part of it.
I was even nice during my speech.
I kept it short, sweet and funny.
Don't ask me what was really said during the ceremony, I zoned out. I had to just let the words go in one ear and out the other. This method worked well for me.
I hope they make things work, and I hope they are happy.

Another realization I had while being home.... I don't want to live there. Ever again.
Its nice to visit, but I prefer a much different crowd these days.
When I go to the bar, I want to hear good music. Not all hip hop.
I want to be able to dance, really dance. Not drunken rubbing on random people.
When I look at guys I want them to be rough, rugged and preferably a cowboy. Not this pretty pretty dude with clean hands, nicer clothes then me and a fake tan.

I can only handle that dumb crap for a certain amount of time.

My new years resolution is a couple things.
And these things are all for me.
1. To workout again... consistently. I want to feel good about myself again.
2. To be nice again, this one I'm afraid will take me a while, if I ever can be nice again.
3. To really and honestly let go. I've been holding on to him for way too long, and it's time to move on.
4. For now I want to spend the year single. I was never really alone, and I need to take the time to be okay with myself and to really work through all my feelings and let go.
I think this will help me move on.
5. The last and I think most important is to make MYSELF happy again.

So lets raise our glass to 2009. It's been a long, hard year and I'm so glad it's over.
Here is to a new start, a new life and a new beginning.
May our glasses and our hearts always be full.
Here is to the New Year.

Why I love coming home

2009-12-29T11:49:00.000-08:00

Seeing them makes me feel like I'm home.
Only someone who grew up around mountains would really understand it.

2009-12-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday Season.

If I had a house...

2009-12-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

(which I don't) I would decorate it. I love to decorate.
Without decorations it doesn't FEEL like Christmas to me.
To get the ol Christmas Spirit Rocking I would need:

1 Christmas Tree

1 pinch and 1 dash of festive decorations

1 pretty picture to hang above the fireplace

1 cowboy to love & to keep me warm at night

Lots of Babies with said Cowboy

Okay so the last 3 are things I would love to have year round...

With those 3 things I could be happy again.

every beginning has an end

2009-12-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, December 16th 2009

Today at exactly 1:30 pm it is over.

Today is the end of this current chapter.

Today at exactly 1:31 pm it is just beginning.

Today is the beginning of a new chapter.

I feel like this is an appropriate ending. It's the same way things started.
In the beginning you spend all this time, all this build up for that one day. That one special day.

I now realize the same thing happens in the end.
The past year has been a build up for today. This one life changing day.

I am anxious, scared, sad, happy and confused all at once just like I was when it all started, 2 years ago.
I wonder what life will bring now? What will this chapter hold for me?

Behind it all

2009-12-14T20:48:00.000-08:00

warning: I have some personal things just sitting and festering. They are starting to leak out. This is how I feel and I can't hold it in anymore. If I don't write it down here, I may have a nervous break down. This is my blog. This is my outlet.

I don't care if you don't like it. Don't read it... you have been warned.

.............................................

I am a guarded, jaded person. I wasn't always like this. I was always a private person, only showed what I wanted. The big difference from then to now? I never used to have to pretend to be happy. I never used to have to force a smile.

No one knows how I feel. Half the time, I don't really know how I feel. I have too much going through my head to sort through it all.

It's easier to hide and keep my face down when things get hard. No one wants to deal with the ugly, unhappy things.

So I hide everything. I save it to deal with later, when I am by myself.

I have to fight my tears everyday. When I can't fight them, I hide them.

You don't know what I feel. I'm not sure it would be understood.

I'm not sure anyone knows the real me. They only know what I choose to show.

I'm not sure people could really understand.

I don't think people would think I'm ok.

I don't think anyone understands that still my heart hurts and aches.

I don't think they understand that it's hard to get up in the morning, it's hard to breathe.

I don't think anyone knows how far I push myself and force that smile.

They don't know how hard it is. All they ask for is more and more.

I have had enough and I'm tired. I can't do it anymore.

I don't care anymore.

I'm not in a place in my life to be all puppies, flowers and love.
It's not fair that you ask so much of me.

I'm trying to do the best I can but enough is enough.

Everything keeps adding up and adds another brick to the wall.

A wall that keeps everything out, and me wonderfully numb.

Give me a break, or I'm afraid the wall will never leave. I will never heal.

beautiful envy

2009-12-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and savor each moment as it passes, embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday.

The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation.

Papyrus

Tuesday Night

2009-12-08T16:18:00.000-08:00

It's cold tonight. No it's really cold.
We are topping out a whopping -36 degrees. This does not include windchill.

Yesterday I didn't have to work, because it was cold.
And they didn't have any heat in the office.
So I went to a friends house and hung out.
To keep myself entertained, I had a photo shoot... with myself.

Here are the results....

Isn't my life grand?

Your jealous aren't you? right? RIGHT??

Dream Catcher

2009-12-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

Last night while I slept, I was dreaming.
It was good, crazy and a little strange.

I remember not wanting to open my eyes, and have my dream flutter away with the morning light. I fought to stay asleep as long as I could, putting off work and the new day.
I was trying to linger in the sweet escape that dream offered me.

Eventually when I did wake up, I could recall pretty vividly everything about my dream.
There were good parts that made my belly have butterflies.
There were crazy parts, I could see him smiling, but I couldn't make the rest of his face come to mind. I could feel his skin beneath my hands as I touched his hands and his arms.
I can even remember liking the way he smelled.
The strange part was I was suddenly in a room full of people I'm not sure where or who all these people were. All I know is they stuck around when all I wanted them to do was leave.
I wanted them to leave so I could be alone with him.

I don't have the slightest clue who "He" is. I never could really see his face, only his smile.

All I know is that smile brought me comfort, that smile made me feel good.
I felt whole again around that smile.

As the day went on, I tried to re-live my dream I tried to bring those images and those feelings to the fore front of my mind again.
Every time it was harder to concentrate on the details, harder to grasp at my dream.
I could see it fluttering in front of my eyes, I reach to grab it but my fingers go right through it as if I was reaching for the wind.

The only thing I remember for sure was that it was a good, crazy and somewhat strange dream I didn't want to wake up from.

Maybe tonight I will have the same dream.
Maybe I will be able to remember it after.
I want to keep this dream.

Even though it was only a dream, for a while I was happy with someone else.
Who that someone else is? I don't know, it doesn't really matter to me.

What matters is I know if I can dream me being with someone else. It eventually will happen.
I will be happy again.
I will be able to smile easily again.
I will be able to love again.
I won't have to be alone.

I'm going to catch this dream one day.

early bird

2009-12-01T17:14:00.000-08:00

Sometime last week, I went elk hunting.
I had to get up early.
I had to hike all over the mountains looking for elk.
We didn't see anything. I basically took my gun for a walk.
However being up before the sun, and watching the sun rise on top of the mountain made it all worth it.
I adore sunsets.

Weekend Recap

2009-11-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

The Cast: Anne and Me

The Trophy: 2009 Muley Buck

It's not hunting unless you get a little on ya.

24 inches wide

Yes, that is blood on my cheek. What?

300 yards. One shot. I Love Hunting.

Style is important. Even Hunting.

Slightly New Development

2009-11-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

I have decided I want to move.
Well no correction.... I have wanted to move for a while.
But the money prospect has always dropped my brakes and transmission and given me a flat tire.
Translation... I have minimal funds stored.
I am living off my own income.
I can't afford rent.

The New Development of which I speak?
I have set myself a goal.
Will I reach it? I don't have a clue, but just in case cross your fingers.
For most of the houses I really like (I have expensive taste)
And well, the area I want to move too is still rather expensive, the crash hasn't hit too hard yet.
Anyways, I digress.
20% down is on average $40,000.00

My goal? To save my money obviously. In addition to this I'm also going to purge a lot of my crap i.e. Wedding stuff I will NEVER use again, and potentially his wedding ring (maybe... actually no. I changed my mind. Not ready for that one just yet)
I'm going to give a lot of my clothes to a consignment store as well as shoes.... that will be hard.

I may or may not (haven't completely decided yet) buy a camera...
Eeep... say what? Thought you were saving money no?

Yes, but if I buy a good camera, I love photography you see.
If I get good enough, maybe people will buy my pictures or throw me a bone and insist I take their little darling children's senior pictures.
That will of course = money.
Money I can save!
And I will be doing something I love!
Brilliant no?

It's okay don't be jealous, I don't sleep at night there fore I have a lot of time on my hands to ponder my future.

Mind you this goal is a 5-10 year goal I think.... ugh.

Santa,

All I want for Christmas is to win the lottery!
Can you give me a hand?
Well that or a house... either or I'm not the picky sort!

Thank you,
Always a believer.

This just in

2009-11-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

The FedEx guy gives me the creeps.

Thanks for the package dude. But I don't want to talk about my weekend....with you.
And stop calling me by name, it makes you even creepier.
Thank you and goodbye.

My Weekend

2009-11-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

Saturday: woke up early to go hunting.
Was hunting all day.... didn't see a darn thing.

Sunday: I was dreaming.
My crying woke me up. Wrote about it.
Wished that would happen, but alas this is the real world.

Sat around the house for a while.
Finally went out hunting again.
Walked my butt clean off.
Didn't see anything.

Monday Morning: I was dreaming again.
Again my crying woke me up. I wrote about it again.
This time, I don't wish it would happen like that.
One line "I love you, but...." Never a good thing.

Something I have realized....
My dreams are too real sometimes.
My dreams wake me up too early.
When I wake up I remember it all feel, smell and every other single detail.
And the final thing I have realized
LOVE STINKS.

Stay classy, and have a great Monday.

Neither here nor there

2009-11-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday after work I decided to work out.
My workout? I picked stair laps.
I ran a total of 6. I thought I was going to die.
Today my goal is 8.
I really like to work hard and push myself. (please tell me you caught that sarcasm)

Last night I cut up meat. Elk meat.
The last time I had done this, it was with Ryan sitting next to me.
As small or unimportant as it may seem, I don't want to replace all those memories.
Every time I do something we used to do by myself, I'm left with a sad bitter feeling.
It sucks.

To make matters worse. Matters??? Maybe my personal emotional roller coaster is a better way to describe that.
On my drive back to the house.
A song came on the radio.
A song I used to listen to often in college.
A song that I used to listen too because I saw me and Ryan in that song.
This song brought back all those memories. The hopeful ones. The hopeful young ones, where you still find yourself looking forward to so much in life. When I was so trustful and happy.
All I had the energy to do about it was cry.
Drive and cry.
I'm getting good at it.
When your alone, you have time to think.
Thinking isn't always a good thing. Thinking makes you remember and makes you feel.
I hate feeling.
Most days I can hide it. Can force the smile anyways.
But when all those feelings bubble over.
They consume me, and it's hard to even breathe.

A boy who reminds me of Ryan so long ago came over.
It was strange sitting and talking to that boy.
Listening to what he wants out of life.
It was like I was sitting with Ryan 6 years ago in his truck listening to his music.
Talking for hours.
Talking about our hopes, what we want in life.
Listening to a song over and over that would leave me crying several years later.

I want to hold on to those times, those memories so bad my mind hurts from trying to remember every detail.
How I felt, How he looked, how he smelled, how he smiled, the butterflies in my stomach.
The way we could just be together and be entertained and so wrapped up in each other the hours would literally fly by.

It's enough to almost make me never leave the house and never turn on my radio again.

That time already?

2009-11-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Oh boy.
Sunday I was out running some errands.
These errands brought me to Pier One. I love that place.
If I had enough control to not blow all my paychecks there, I would work there!

That's not my point....
My point is they already have Christmas stuff out.
Already.

It's not even Thanksgiving yet.
Hunting Season isn't even over yet.
Speaking of hunting season, I need to get out and fill my tags.

I spent about an hour just walking around looking at all the pretty reds and green's.
All Christmas decorations make me drool. I love to decorate for Christmas!
Then another thought? Do I know what I'm getting people for Christmas yet?
I've started my list. I've checked it twice.
Now I'm saving my money.
The theme this year is.... BUDGET!!

So are you ready?

Divisional Volleyball 2009

2009-11-09T10:07:00.000-08:00

It's Monday, why don't we catch up?

Thursday we had to play Sunburst @ 1:00.
Sadly our girls just didn't come to play.
It was so frustrating to watch.
We lost in 3.

Losing this game meant in order for us to go to state, we would have to come through the back door. The back door means more games, less rest in between.

Friday we had to play North Star.
This is the team that knocked us out of the tournament last year.
This year that didn't happen.
We beat them in 4.

We had time to go eat and sit for an hour.
Then we were up again.

We played Big Sandy.
This is a team we have beat all year.
We beat them in 4 again.

Saturday morning at 11:00 we had to play Fort Benton.
Through the season and District Tournaments we have played them 5 times.
We have beat them 4 of those 5 times.
However we were worried. This was Divisional Tournaments and Fort Benton was going to come out fired up.
Much to our delight, our girls played absolutely awesome.
We beat Fort Benton in 3.

Our next game was right away.
We had to face Sunburst again.
If we won this game we were guaranteed going to state.
They take the top 2 Divisional teams to State.
If we won this game, we would have to play the Simms Tigers.
No matter what though, we would play for another week.

For some odd reason, we don't know what it is about Sunburst.
We are a much better team then they are.
Big Sandy, Chinook, Fort Benton all beat Sunburst.
Sometimes though, teams just get lucky and get things to fall right for them.

We lost to Sunburst once again in 3.
Ending our 2009 season.
We finished 3rd in Divisional's.

It was disappointing, but overall we had a good season.
Next year we will give it another shot.
Next year if we have to face Sunburst, they will be left broken and bleeding I'm almost sure of it.

Today

2009-11-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

The Volleyball Divisional Tournament starts.

We play today at 1:00 against Sunburst.

We don't know a whole lot about them.
Except they are pretty good, they made it this far.

Keep your fingers crossed!

If we win this game we are up tomorrow at 9:00 am.

Catch up...

2009-11-04T09:46:00.001-08:00

Halloween Night recap?
Not only did we win the District Tournament!

We got back in time for me to meet friends at the bar.
Can you tell we dressed up?
No really, I dressed up as a Bitch, and a drunk girl!

What??? I thought it was good! One must work with what one has.

The next day I woke up kinda crabby.
I've been crabby since actually.
No I didn't do anything dumb. Don't worry.
How ever, I was in a good mood while I was partaking in the drinking festivities.
The next day I remembered every single snide, dumb, assuming comment I heard.
And it just PISSED me off.

Basically the male gender is dumb and they piss me off.
You don't know me. Don't act like you do.
You aren't important and I don't like you. Any of you.
Leave me alone.
Smothering me is not going to get you what you want.
Asking dumb questions won't get you what you want.
You will never get what you want from me.

Everyday I get more and more crabby because it won't stop.

Your lines aren't cute, smart or even funny.
You all make my skin crawl.

All of this is probably my fault.
I'm looking for Ryan in all the wrong places.
But it's hard to turn your back on a glimmer of something you used to like.
It's hard to turn your back on a reminder of him.

In the end, I get annoyed by their dumbness. Granted they may do one thing that reminds me of Ryan. But they do 1,245.7 other things I can't stand.
It's another kind of let down.
Apparently if your a girl, you can't be friends with boys.

Weekend Recap

2009-11-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

Oh what a weekend!

Friday
We played Fort Benton.
We lost to them in 5. It was a good game. It was a very close game.
I was on the edge of my seat!

Saturday
We played Geraldine. A team we lost to 2 times during season. (It was dumb mistakes that made us loose.)
We beat them in 3. It was awesome, I think we shocked them.

We then had a rematch with Fort Benton.
We beat them in 5. It was a good game. It was a very close game.

Because Fort Benton and Us both lost only 1 game to each other. We had to play them again.
Back to Back.

We beat them again.
In 4!
That last point was so great!

All the girls were jumping up and down, and screaming!
Everyone was so excited!!

We are the 2009 7-C District Champions!
This week Divisionals start. We have to finish in the top 2 to go on to state!
Keep your fingers crossed!

District Volleyball Tournaments

2009-10-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

The District Volleyball tournament started.
We played our first game at 2:30 against GFCC.
We beat them in 3.

Our second game we played at 8:00 against Highwood.
Highwood and Belt are big rivals. They are rivals from 25 years ago.
We beat them in 5.

Winning that game against Highwood, ensure we are going to Divisional's!

Tonight we play Fort Benton at 6:00.
This is going to be a dog fight.
I can't wait.

Today's Weather

2009-10-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

Did I mention it was snowing?

No? Oh well it's snowing.
Correction. It's a blizzard outside.

Our weather forecast is as follows:
Tuesday- it's going to snow all day
Wednesday- it's going to snow all day
Thursday- it's not going to snow, but it will be cloudy
Friday- it's going to snow all day

It's a good thing my Mom got me a windshield brush/scraper thing.
Looks like it's going to come in handy.

The upside to all of this weather.
The only time I will ever think of this weather as an upside.
Is of course due to Hunting Season.

My work = lame

2009-10-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

Starting November 1st, I'm going to be put on part time.
That sucks.
This wouldn't be too much of a problem if they give me the raise they promised me 3 months ago...
Starting today, I'm looking for another job.
One where they offer their workers heat!
One where they keep their promises.

Basically in 3 words I can sum up how I feel about my job.
"It sucks balls."

Here is to a day spent searching for stable income!

Saturday night musings

2009-10-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

I miss my Husband.
Everyday more then the last.

If I could have but one wish, I would wish for my Husband back.
I miss that Man I Married, the one who looked at me with stars in his eyes.
The one that looked and was happy in every picture.

I will always miss my Husband.
The Man that left was no longer this person.
I have to live among all the reminders, all the memories and it makes my heart want that person back even more.

Some one told me they wished they had the answers. They didn't want to see me so sad that I looked sick everyday.
They told me one day it might get easier.
Maybe that Man I married was my soul mate, and maybe he just changed.
If that is the case, does that mean I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.
Spend the rest of my life with a heart that hurts and aches for him to come back?

If that is the case, I'm not up to the challenge.
I would cut off my arm just to have him back even if just for a day.

Tomorrow will mark the start of hunting season.
The first hunting season without him.
The first hunting season alone.
I love hunting, but I loved it because of him.

The hard thing for me is to find myself and find the distinction from what used to be us, me and him to just me.

Be careful what you ask for

2009-10-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

I asked to be left alone.
I wanted to avoid going over and over our divorce.

I got what I asked for.

He deleted his myspace account.
I know it's dumb, and that our myspace friendship didn't mean we were getting along, or ever getting back together.

But it was a comfort to see him in my top whatever everyday.
It was a glimpse of him everyday, a stupid little comfort that I had.
I liked to look at his page and see me still on his top friends, another dumb little comfort.

I liked that he still had pictures of us up, yet again a dumb empty comfort.

So today when I didn't see him, I realized how much I looked forward to seeing him everyday.
I actually had a lot riding on those dumb empty comfort's.

Maybe it's just been the last couple of days, they have been hard.
2 calls from him, they never go well.
2 calls from family, delivering unplesant news.
2 rumor's running around town about me.

All of that alone has been overwhelming.
This today made it too much.

I'm glad to be going home for the weekend. I need to get away. I need a break.
I need to pull the covers over my head and sleep it away.

Monday I promise not to be so pathetic anymore.

explain something you don't understand

2009-10-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

Some things in life elude us.
The reasoning behind why things happen.
Why things fall the way they do.

Try as I might, I just can't seem to let this one thing go.

Why does he have to call and say the things he does?
I don't mind talking in a normal matter.
I actually like hearing his voice, when it's friendly. It's a nice reminder of why I loved him.

The calls I get however are not for talking.
They are for hurting, and I don't know why.
Why do you call me just to re-hash everything?
Why do you want to go through a divorce every time?

Why do you want to make me cry?

I don't understand it. I don't know how he does it.
I don't hate him.
I would still give him anything.
I still love him.

I can't see the reason or the purpose to call someone who used to be everything to you, just to rip open the old hurt. Just to get a reaction, just to know that you can still hurt them.

I'm not saying I have never made a mistake, I have made many.
I have said hurtful things. I have made him cry.
I still feel horrible for each and everyone of those things that I did.
But I don't call him just to stab the knife home again and again.
I don't call him to place the blame on his shoulders.

I don't understand it.

I wish he could let it go. Let us both move on.

Funny how a phone call changes everything.

2009-10-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

I have gotten two phone calls in the past two days that have changed things for me.

The first call was yesterday.
The call from Ryan.
I'm at the point in all of this where I'm okay. I'm okay with how things are going to end.
I'm okay with where I am at this point.
There isn't anything Ryan could say about me right now or what I'm doing right now that could hurt. I think he knows that.

I also think, he knows if he mentions me before any of this, or I more pointedly us before any of this. I think he knows it would still hurt.
I don't understand regret. I thought I used to, I thought I regretted many things.
But now I'm not so sure.

I'm okay with our marriage ending. It's sad, and not what we wanted, but I'm okay with it.
I'm not okay saying we wasted 2 years of our life.
I'm not okay hearing the words "You never loved me."
I'm especially not okay hearing "I regret this. I regret all of this."

Regret means you wish it never happened.
I can't say I regret marrying Ryan.
Because at that moment, at that time in my life. Ryan is exactly what I wanted.
Ryan is what my heart wanted more then anything else.
How can you regret something your heart wanted so badly?

Ryan is extremely good at choosing his words.
If he means to or not, he always chooses the ones that cut the deepest.
The ones that open up the hurt and expose it all over again.

I told him I was sorry he hated me. That I wished he didn't feel that way.
He told me he didn't hate me, but he just couldn't stand me, he just couldn't be forced to help me.

To which I said, "If I was drowning you wouldn't even throw your hand in to pull me out?"
He reply.... "I don't know"

In those 3 words I was blown away.
I heard regret, hatred, disgust and so many other underlying emotions.
Most of all I saw a heart that couldn't have possible wanted me.
I saw a heart that did in fact regret.
All that is left, once again is the raw hurt.

The second phone call came this morning.

Immediately after I heard what they had to say. I could feel the anger boiling. I could feel the anger rising trying to claw it's way out of my throat.
My hands started shaking.

The things that happened to me is one thing. That I can deal with.
But once the line is cross, once it starts happening to my family, starts to My sister. I can't handle that. I can not have that.

Once you go through it yourself, you want better for your family.
No one deserves to be treated that way.
No one deserves to feel so alone.

You are not alone.
You deserve better.
I will fight for you.
This is not okay and it is not acceptable.
You deserve happiness.
DO NOT SETTLE.

It's impossible to escape

2009-10-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Cold season, Flu season. And now the newest worry, Swine flu season.

Having a cold, or the flu takes so much out of you.
When you finally come out feeling okay, you look like a homeless that has slept in the same clothes for several months.

Not to mention your mouth has a disgusting taste stuck to the back of your tongue.
Your body is sore and stiff from lying in bed for so long.
My hair always looks like a rat's nest.

When I make my appearance out of my room after being sick I make a beeline for the shower.
A shower has the amazing ability to make you feel like a new person!

Thank goodness it's Friday.
Thank goodness I'm on the upside of the cold!
Thank goodness for showers!

Yesterday

2009-10-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had the day off.
It was so nice. Well the weather was cold, it was snowing.

I used my time wisely.
I snuggled up on the couch and I finally joined the rest of America an watched "Twilight"

It was good.
However, if it was made a teenage love story to make those of us, who are now single lonely. Then it was a MOVIE SUCCESS!

In all seriousness though, I really don't like Vampire fake movies, but I liked the movie.

No I could definitely see what every one sees in Edward so much more, if only they'd add a cowboy hat.... hmmm.
It's a sickness I know.

Cheer's to a day off!

So this is what it looks like?

2009-10-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

Turning 25 that is.

This is what it looks like to turn 25.

This is what it looks like to be in your Mid twenties.

This is what it looks like when you only have 5 years to 30.

I already miss being in my early twenties...

I thought by 25 I'd have a baby on the hip.... ha ha ho ho wooo.

Can I please have a moment of silence for my early twenties. Ah yes, I will miss them.

weekend recap

2009-10-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

My weekend was busy, dangerous, expensive, fun all at once.

I know what your thinking... and no I'm not being dramatic.

Really my weekend was all of these things.

Saturday:

We went to an all day volleyball tournament. This was busy, fun and dangerous!

The dangerous part, several student who go to the school that hosted the tournament have the Swine Flu..... I told you it was dangerous.

Alas we are all okay (knock on wood) we all probably over dosed on hand sanitizer, and I think used 85% of the school's hand soap.

The fun part to the day was... Our team won the tournament. Yes we are the champions!

Sunday:

Nothing relaxes a person like retail shopping right?

So that's what I did.

I like to think I didn't buy anything to impulsive. That I really needed everything I bought.

Like this for example, I couldn't go on without it.

Seriously could you?

Okay okay, in my defense. I really bought it for the lamp shade, but the base is cool too right?

AND it was on clearance. Stop shaking your head at me!

It's from Pier One (a store that I really have no self control in) BUT it was on clearance, it's okay! This lamp was $50.00 and I got it for $29.98. A steal if you ask me.

Side Note: Now I have to figure out the perfect place for it..... and I don't have a house of my own. Hello challenge of the month. Lets see how much stuff I can stuff in one room. If you knew my Grandmother (love her) you would know I'm pretty darned talented in the cramming of stuff in one room! It's a gift really.

The shoes I bought for $4.95 was a good buy as well. But they have to go back. Not because I don't love them, but because the right shoe is a size 9 and the left is a size 7, unfortunately for me, my feet just don't work like that.

Hope you have a great Monday.

Mine started with snow.... woohoo